Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Let's share a sandwich...

I think I mentioned before that when Matka and I would go out for lunch after a doc appointment or other outing, we usually shared a grilled cheese sandwich-sometimes with a slice of tomato, usually on rye. We would have some soup with it. She would always tell me everything that was going on with other family members-but at these lunches-she held court. Spilling everything she knew, somethings she guessed at and everything she hoped would happen with family and her friends.

Sometimes, if I was on a diet at the time, I would not have that 1/2 sandwich, just picked something else-non bread, non greasy. She was always disappointed. She took her other 1/2 sandwich home usually. She liked going out to eat with me because I usually shared that sandwich. She would say, "you're fun to go out to lunch with, you eat." By saying this, she compared me to going out to lunch with my SSister#1 who was always very smart about what she ate (we are excluding ice cream in this conversation-ice cream for my SS#1 is not a food group-it is oxygen-you need it to live). SS#1 usually pulled out a little yogurt container to eat and ordered tea.
After Matka died last year, when I was really a mess for all those months, one of the things that made me just break down and cry was seeing a pair of ladies who looked like a mother-daughter duo eating lunch together and talking.

I thought it was so lovely to see, and wished them many years of the same.

I gradually stopped looking for these couplings, it was just too painful, and I was too envious. I love to eat, but I loved my Matka more.

Wait, just a little stop here, Kleenex time.

OK, Back, and strong again.

Today was one of those lunch with the ladies days. My usual group of lovely friends. We were so pleased that one of the ladies was feeling much better after being ill for two months.
I think I started the topic of being so old now, and after we all reminded each other of our ages, one of my SFriends remarked that she is old enough to be the mother to all of us! And she was correct.

Coincidentally, she and I ordered the same meal. And it was soup and sandwich, and much too big for each of us. As we walked out, she whispered to me "Next time we will share a sandwich". I was so moved by that statement that I could barely keep myself from crying. Suddenly, Matka was there saying hello.

My gift today.