So Listen, Raise your hands sweet friends if you know what the phrase "Calgon, take me away!" means. Yep, just as I thought, this would be an age related answer. For those not aware of this powerful request it begs for a trip to somewhere better. Lets all plan our trip! Me first, my idea after all.
Calgon, you promoter of dreams, passage booker for trips of fancy, I am ready, take me to.........
A nice haircut with perfect highlights-no need to explain for 10 minutes what I don't want. And then hey, as long as I am there a mani-pedi with a little twinkley star painted on my left big toe for my husband to see. And clothes shopping-NO, NO, I don't want to go clothes shopping, please, know your customer here! Just fill my closets and drawers with a few things I want to wear and if they fit-BONUS! Speaking of clothes, we can put a man on the Moon for cripes sake, why can't we invent a machine that you would feed a piece of clothing in like we feed in a dollar bill at the automatic car wash and in a nanosecond, out it would come clean and FOLDED! And no trying our patience like feeding in a perfectly good piece of currency and have it swoosh back out like "How dare you try to pawn off this wrinkled pre folded piece of paper" !
Hey, Calgon, how about a trip thru childhood, but a do-over with a few tweaks, nothing big, same Mom, but everyday would be like she was on a day off from work, baking, laughing and planning to cook for company-without rollers in her hair would be a nice touch. And a DAD this time would be great. Someone who chooses to be a Dad and knows what to do to protect and defend.
Here is a challenge Calgon trip planner, as each child is born, they should be washed with a light that protects them from disease, injury and spectrums. This would also take away the need for bullies I am thinking-makes sense to me. Every child needs grandparents right? Well, they should ALL love and accept each grandchild and fill the child with a sense of being cherished while sitting in a rocking chair that grandpa made for them and wrapped in a blanket that grandma made. Who couldn't be their best in this kind of base station? I am not asking for much right? Brothers and sisters for all would be great-I would recommend mine for the models! Kids would still need to work hard at school and home, behave in church to avoid the pinch under the arm, and be a kind person to all, but coming from a place of love and security would certainly give them a pattern to follow. And speaking of education-these student loans would be cut in half each year that they work and get a good job review. Of course that means that there would need to be actual JOBS, but Calgon, I know you can do it! Can I just add close to home and hearth for these incredible jobs?
And my next stop on my Calgon Caravan would be driving along some water, someplace. Blue skies, tons of clouds of all different types, those I love there with me, some great music playing, no one passing gas, and maybe with a stop at a SEE's Candy Store-just to keep the driver's strength up. A trip to the OLD Albright-Knox Art Gallery, the one that was not plundered could just make the day.
And membership in a service organization fills a soul, so how about if that was part of the trip of life? Cool concept right? One you can do with your kids, yeah, thats the plan.
Before being dumped by the side of the rode by you Calgon because I asked too much, just hear me out ok?
I know not all of this is possible, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck as the saying goes. But dreams are just as elusive as the continued warm water in the Calgon bath, and just as important. Thanks for listening, you all know that God is Calgon right?
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