I TRY to see big picture, and plan accordingly and give way too much advice-working on that. I share my life with: SH (sweet Husband), SS(sweet Son), SD(sweet Daughter), SSIL (sweet son in law), SGS(sweet Grandson), SCs (sweet cats), extended family and friends.
Yes, my precious daughter is engaged to a Mother's Dream! They came over and she burst in the door saying "John asked me to marry him!" and showed me the ring. Tears all around-mostly me I must admit. Hugs, kisses for and from everyone. We talked and smiled and were and are so happy. Then we had a toast,with the good Crystal! SSon shook his hand and said congratulations. SHusband actually had a sip of wine to commemorate such a wonderful event.
Many phone calls were made, first to her father and step-mother, then to her Godmother-my SSister#1.
She is a different person since knowing him, he supports her and brings out the best in her. He is very kind to our SGrandson, and gives him stability and care and most importantly guidance.
And I know she is good for him, they are a match!
During the week, I bought them some nice glasses for an engagement present, now they can toast more important times in their lives together.
SGS thinks he is going on the honeymoon! I set him straight, and hoped that he would be here with me that week win-win!
And, here is the clincher: As they were driving over, they both saw a shooting star!
We immediately knew who sent that, so the Missing Matka tears were unleashed. Matka knew John and really loved him and was happy for Meg then, imagine now! She had to send that message right?
And from a website devoted to sky sightings:
"J. Natti (not verified) on Sat, 17/12/2011 - 21:55
Standing looking into the east - south east (114*). Standing approximately 20 ft away from a 15foot house. At about 35-40* off the horizon (over the house) appeared a reddish green (maybe fire) extremely large shooting star looking ?. It traveled faster than anything I have ever seen before in my life. It traveled in a straight line. It crossed the better part of the sky (from approximately 40* in the east to 35* in the west) in a matter of 3.5-4 seconds. I am assuming it was a meteor, but not sure as I have never seen anything like this in my life. My location is in western Kentucky, town of Madisonville, USA. The sighting was at 12:45 am cst. on December 17th 2011."
Letting go is really receiving a gift to you.
This morning, in our Buffalo News morning paper, a columnist that I always read, Lisa Earle McLeod posted this essay (If you double click on it, the entire article will appear):
(If you click on it, the entire article will appear)
I always find her writings helpful as I try to look for ways to grow. Today's commentary was a humdinger for me. Having just celebrated a wonderful Thanksgiving with family, let me show you how this philosophy worked for me:
I started making soup a few years ago, pumpkin or squash, I was pretty happy with the way it tasted and others agreed with me (being polite or actually liking it-who knows, but their grace showed through with their positive comments about the soup).
Then last year, SSon-in-law suggested that he could bring the soup-he is a wonderful natural cook, so I knew it would taste fantastic, but that soup was my 'new thing". I thought about it and realized that it would be more important for him to bring the soup than for me to make it, so I agreed that he would make the soup. IT WAS SUBLIME! And guess what? It took a long time to make, and I no longer had to work that in the schedule of my tasks to do. Letting go is receiving! This year and for all future years, he is the soup guy.
Next, I like to say that I make a mean stuffing/dressing for Thanksgiving, I use a bizillion types of bread, use some techniques that SMatka taught me, and every year I would throw in a different new ingredient-Jimmy Dean sausage in the full fat hey days, sliced water chestnuts in my vegetarian days, dried cranberries when they first came out, you name, it had a turn in my stuffing (escept of course for those dark things in that nasty bag that comes inside a turkey if you buy a whole turkey-they are three words DIS-GUS-TING.) Then, one year, many years ago, SDaughter raved about her SStepmother's stuffing, so knowing that it is better to give in to let someone else make their speciality, she was then crowned the Queen of Stuffing, and no Thanksgiving would be the same without her tasty offering. Another time consuming job that I would not need to do, win-win, Letting go is really receiving. And it is good, very good.
Next, we are very fortunate that my SSister#1 and her SHusband are able to attend our Thanksgiving Dinner, sometimes family lives too far apart to manage this. One of SS#1's many specialities is a squash-apple casserole-no marshmallows, just lots of flavor and love put into this dish. I immediately knew that when she started attending that this was the only squash we could have. She loves to make it and I love to have her make it.
Here is her recipe:
BAKED SQUASH AND APPLE CASSEROLE
1 small butternut squash (2 pounds or less)
2 apples (cored, peeled and sliced)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup cold butter or margarine
1 tablespoon flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1. Pare, seed, and cut squash into small slices.
2. Place squash and apple slices in sprayed oblong baking dish (7x11 inches).
3. Blend rest of ingredients with fork, fingers or pastry cutter until crumbly.
4. Distribute over squash and apple. Prepare to here until ready to bake.
5. Cover and bake. temperature: 350 degrees time: 45 to 50 minutes
yield: 6 to 8 servings double this for company!
My point, if I could make it is this, the advice that Ms. McLeod makes is so what! So what if you have more than one person who can make something great, it is all about making someone feel included, accepted into the family or group. Just a little give-it-up from one person allows others to feel a part of the group. No one likes to be on the outside as others shine, there is enough shine to go around, so the next time someone new to a group offers a suggestion, never say, no thanks, our way is better-even though your choice of words may be different, the message will come out the same way-and it will hurt to the quick, no matter how much you smile when you say it.
I have said "you" a lot, but really I am absolutely including myself in this advice, we always need a reminder on how to avoid hurting someone when it is something that can be avoided. So, letting go is really receiving, try it, you and someone you love will like it.
And because you hung in there and read this long post, here is your reward:
click here: All you need is love.
When we five sibs were young, we attended church with SMatka (Sweet Matka) and sometimes SGrandma Viviani. And sometimes we were restless, distracting, noisy and embarrassing. I don't know if this technique was needed for SSister#1 or SBrother#1, they seemed better able to behave than the other three of us.
So SMatka used a time-honored technique-she pinched us under our upper arm. It was quick, painful, and got the job done. You never saw better behaved, quiet children-EVER! One of those pinches or the evil-eye look that said a pinch was next did the trick. Something so painful was to be avoided at all cost.
The other day, when I went to "check the flowers", which is my euphemism for going to the cemetery, I discovered that pulling up to that grave site is also a "pinch". It has the same effect every time, a quick onset of pain, generated by SMatka. I don't stay long, I check to see that the wind has not picked up the flowers and tossed them onto a neighbor's territory, or if the weather is not good, I actually stay in the car. I make sure the music is turned off because too many times, what is playing makes it worse.
If anyone is in the car with me, the visit is even shorter.
To paraphrase: "Better to have loved and lost, than to never have been pinched at all."