Saturday, December 10, 2011

Letting go is really receiving.

Letting go is really receiving a gift to you.
This morning, in our Buffalo News morning paper, a columnist that I always read, Lisa Earle McLeod posted this essay (If you double click on it, the entire article will appear):

(If you click on it, the entire article will appear)

I always find her writings helpful as I try to look for ways to grow.  Today's commentary  was a humdinger for me.  Having just celebrated a wonderful Thanksgiving with family, let me show you how this philosophy worked for me:
I started making soup a few years ago, pumpkin or squash, I was pretty happy with the way it tasted and others agreed with me (being polite or actually liking it-who knows, but their grace showed through with their positive comments about the soup).
Then last year, SSon-in-law suggested that he could bring the soup-he is a wonderful natural cook, so I knew it would taste fantastic, but that soup was my 'new thing".  I thought about it and realized that it would be more important for him to bring the soup than for me to make it, so I agreed that he would make the soup.  IT WAS SUBLIME!  And guess what? It took a long time to make, and I no longer had to work that in the schedule of my tasks to do. Letting go is receiving!  This year and for all future years, he is the soup guy.
Next, I like to say that I make a mean stuffing/dressing for Thanksgiving, I use a bizillion types of bread, use some techniques that SMatka taught me, and every year I would throw in a different new ingredient-Jimmy Dean sausage in the full fat hey days, sliced water chestnuts in my vegetarian days, dried cranberries when they first came out, you name, it had a turn in my stuffing (escept of course for those dark things in that nasty bag that comes inside a turkey if you buy a whole turkey-they are three words DIS-GUS-TING.)  Then, one year, many years ago, SDaughter raved about her SStepmother's stuffing, so knowing that it is better to give in to let someone else make their speciality, she was then crowned the Queen of Stuffing, and no Thanksgiving would be the same without her tasty offering.  Another time consuming job that I would not need to do, win-win, Letting go is really receiving. And it is good, very good.
Next, we are very fortunate that my SSister#1 and her SHusband are able to attend our Thanksgiving Dinner, sometimes family lives too far apart to manage this. One of SS#1's many specialities is a squash-apple casserole-no marshmallows, just lots of flavor and love put into this dish. I immediately knew that when she started attending that this was the only squash we could have. She loves to make it and I love to have her make it.
Here is her recipe:

1 small butternut squash (2 pounds or less)
2 apples (cored, peeled and sliced)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup cold butter or margarine
1 tablespoon flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1. Pare, seed, and cut squash into small slices.
2. Place squash and apple slices in sprayed oblong baking dish (7x11 inches).
3. Blend rest of ingredients with fork, fingers or pastry cutter until crumbly.
4. Distribute over squash and apple. Prepare to here until ready to bake.
5. Cover and bake.  temperature: 350 degrees   time: 45 to 50 minutes
yield: 6 to 8 servings    double this for company!

My point, if I could make it is this, the advice that Ms. McLeod makes is so what! So what if you have more than one person who can make something great, it is all about making someone feel included, accepted into the family or group.  Just a little give-it-up from one person allows others to feel a part of the group.  No one likes to be on the outside as others shine, there is enough shine to go around, so the next time someone new to a group offers a suggestion, never say, no thanks, our way is better-even though your choice of words may be different, the message will come out the same way-and it will hurt to the quick, no matter how much you smile when you say it.
I have said "you" a lot, but really I am absolutely  including myself in this advice, we always need a reminder on how to avoid hurting someone when it is something that can be avoided. So, letting go is really receiving, try it, you and someone you love will like it.
And because you hung in there and read this long post, here is your reward:
click here:
All you need is love.


Margaret Hall said...

Giving up and receiving recipes, traditions and such is always an adventure~!! You, my dear writer, have caught both~!! Your writing is strictly from the heart and puts the reader into a warm and inviting situation...your thoughts~!! Thanks for the uplifting visit today, it was wonderful with my cup of green tea...And, thanks for the recipe...Hugz...♥

sally said...

Thanks for stopping by SFriend Margaret. I love green tea, they have so many combinations with that element for sale now. Green tea with local honey-nothing better at night. I wish you a Happy new Year and a creative year of putting to keyboard your marvelous thoughts.
Peace is my wish for your in 2012.