Me Missing me.
How can I not write here? I am thinking all the time of wording for everything that happens in my life, getting it ready for you to read and share. But instead, I post quick little burps of info on Facebook, thinking that will keep me and you up to date, but you know, that is just a flash, as quick as a spring shower. Sun shining, quick rain, then steam coming from the pavement, indicative that something happened, but nothing consequential.
So, what has been moving me through my life? I love my life, I am blessed in so may ways. And still, I convince myself that nothing I do is the way other people would do it, or how they expect I should do it. Perceptions completely made up by me of course. No critics in my life....except me. At my age, I can not even say I need to work on that and be truthful, it is what it is!
Tomorrow my SD (sweet daughter) marries, a really nice guy this time! I know, I know without her first marriage, we would not have our heart filled by our SGS (Sweet GrandSon), they were just so ill suited for each other, I was her role model for that! My soon to be SSIL ( have you caught onto my acronyms?) Is so laid back, just what she responds well to, and he really cares about our SGS. Knowing that she has him in her life really is mind deep breathing for me.
So tomorrow will all be about a family celebration including many facets, then and now relatives and getting along because we want to, not talking though barred teeth and false eyes. We have all made It work.
I know SH is proud to be part of the aisle walking routine, and I am proud of me that I did not demand to be included in that rite of symbolism. Do all Mothers think this way or just possessive ones like me?
No need to answer.
SS will be wearing suspenders for the first time tomorrow, and since he is so tactile, I know he will be gripping them like a seasoned farmer would, and that is fine with me.
And me? Blue nail polish to match my dress, but forgoing my new blue glasses so I am not thought of as a character looking for attention.
Mom's rosary is hung on the tree we planted after she died, this was her method of pleading for good weather. This is also the first family wedding that she will not be attending, and it hurts my heart. Her SS passed away July 1st. The end of that generation and a women I loved so dearly. She was everything my needy soul craved, calm, book loving and a steady rock to cling to. She was cared for by a daughter who put forth so much devotion that I was in awe.
And today we found out that my SSIL lost her Mom, I am sure this has been devastating for her. She is a very faith filled woman, this will give her strength, not to take away the pain, but to cope with it.
My keyboard itch has been calmed for tonight, this truly was a ramble.
Thanks for indulging me. SF.
With Roux my heart is laden
1 week ago