Saturday, May 19, 2012

"Grief is not a medical condition."

Today there was an editorial in the Buffalo news by Froma Harrop.  I have never read any of her pieces, but the title grabbed me by the eyeballs, pulling me there.  It discussed the fact that GRIEF is something that Psychiatrists were going to put into a category of mental conditions treatable with medications, etc., and calling it an adjustment DISORDER.  The author makes it perfectly clear that it is not a disorder, but a necessary passage that only gets worse by medicating and trying to cover up the feelings with the latest drugs.
WOW, truer words were never spoken.  In my opinion: Grief can not be ignored, putting a strong face out there, and pretending that you are not torn into pieces inside.  Grief is an accumulation of minutia that together are overwhelming at times, and there is no strong face large enough to hide this state of the heart.
One needs to be allowed to express grief, and the way that we do it is the way  WE do it.  No Doc should be able to say, take this pill, you will be fine in 3.4 weeks. 
However long it takes and in whatever way we personally need to grieve, that is what it is.
I found this article to be so freeing, and so important to look at how other cultures, times, worked through grief. I used to think the wearing of black for the grieved  was just an outward badge of "poor me", but now I see it was a tool that some used to come to grips with reality. 
Here is the piece, she did a much better job than I of pulling the info together, but my piece of advice, do what you gotta do, and don't feel like you need to meet other's expectations of how to grieve.

And the reason for this post: Happy Mother's Day Mom.  XXOO
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