Collective Bargaining Agreement...

OK listen, I meowwant you to consider this. Everyone is meowfighting over collective bargaining agreements.

Meaning, the union and management of an organization agree to discuss complaints, and look at ways to resolve issues and do the best job possible. Oh, and they want to talk about benefits also........ like pay, job duties, retirement, and health insurance coverage. I think they are meowgoing about it all meowwrong.

It's all about food, entertainment, clean litter and soft places to lay your head, if you get me meowdrift.

So here, as Boo Boo Marie, the Union rep, I present my meowcase:

-food: just because a certain employee health doc told you I needed to only have 1/2 cup per day of food, it is not carved in rock (although if you were looking for a rock to carve, this is the place-I could fix you up for a little kibble). There are measurements, and there are meowmeasurements. A little bit more passed under the table would not hurt anyone-who has to meowknow?

-entertainment: I really do meowappreciate all your efforts to keep feeding those birdies outside, they are fun to watch, and you giving me a few meowminutes with two of those house meowbirds that I managed to get out of that little dinky cage a few meowweeks ago, was a nice touch to keep my work skills up-You could have looked the other way a few more meowminutes and that really would have been a meowperk! As part of our new meowagreement, I would like a few extra minutes just playing a little catch with those little colorful guys-let's say once per week, I wouldn't hurt them, no harm, no fowl!

-clean litter: so here's the meowstory on this meow wasteful issue, I would so meowthink that having you guys just standing by while I am on meowduty, doing my job, would be best, that way, as soon as I am meowfinished, you can do your job! Discretion would be appreciated, but meowpromptness is needed when doing your job-pick it up, shake it out, move it out, Rawhide, let's meowgo.

-Sleeping: Now, the most important benefit I meowneed, is my chillin' claws. I needs me meowrest, after all, when all of you are snoring meowaway, I am

ON THE JOB. So I would request that all future contracts include a claws and agreement that I will sleep all day, without loud meowmusic, clacking meowkeys or anyone trying to get me to chase a fur mouse or feather on a meowstick. This has to be listed prominently in the agreement-especially when that meowkid comes over and is all over me all meowday. Jeesh, tell him the meowrules, or I might just walk outtah here, and take my many meowskills to someplace that appreciates someone sleeping all day, and agrees to still give me all my meowbenefits! I have tenure you meowknow! Deal with it.