Grace under fire.
That is an expression that I mostly remember for it being used on an evaluation of a doctor whom I worked for. The person was asked to give her evaluation of this person who was in a position of authority over her and most of us. My Sfriend was from the south, she treated all the patients so kindly, and had a certain beautiful way of describing situations. She used this Grace etc phrase, but not in a positive way. She said. Dr. X did not exhibit Grace under fire. Holy mackerel! It swept through the department-we were all thrilled because this Doc had driven many of us to tears with her insensitive remarks, her rudeness and her demanding, demeaning attitude day after day. She was a brilliant doctor, came up through the system putting herself through many years of school while raising a child alone, but still she had a low self-opinion I felt. And it was with the action of putting others down that she felt better about herself. Just my take of the situation. Away from the work floor, she was kind, and a good hostess, but sometimes you went to her parties so that you would not feel the lash of her sharp tongue when next you two came in contact with each other.
So, when my Friend made this comment on the review, we were all floored, thrilled but floored. Her name was included with the comment, and she knew it would be, so, brave her for being honest. She was thanked by the doc for her honesty, afterall, everyone loved my SFriend so it would be work suicide if this doc tried to punish this sweet woman for her remark, but I bet there was a lot of kick the dog at her house that night.
I do not know if I display Grace under Fire, I do know that I try hard, but sometimes I turn stern-not hurtful I hope, just very precise about what I mean and what I expect to happen.
At SMom's funeral, SNiece and SNephew both mentioned in their incredible eulogies about SMom that she said "you can catch more with honey than you can with vinegar", and also "Kill them with Kindness". That is why she had so many people attend her services, she exhibited "Grace under fire".
Pass it on for Matka.
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